Is it too late to say that marriage is a universally accepted and acknowledged institution that gives us free access to a daily dose of drama, humor, romance, and love? At times, all at once, and sometimes, none at all. No matter which part of the world you live in, the relationship between married couples is pretty much the same. We discover how much we love ourselves and how much we tolerate our significant other. We fight over asinine issues like toilet paper, and we laugh our sorrows out. We basically sign up for a lifetime course on each other. To prove this, we compiled some popular and totally relatable tweets about marriage. Take a look-
1. Marriage Is Like Adopting A Child
My wife said I need to grow up. I was speechless.
It’s hard to say anything when you have 45 gummy bears in your mouth
— Josh (@iwearaonesie) October 10, 2014
Don’t you think it’s time to universally accept that almost every man is a man child? Okay, all of you who are ready to hurl a #Notallmen hashtag at me, I explicitly said that *most* of them are just overgrown children in bodies of adults. Now, maturity is something that comes with age. But, that can’t be said for men. They just get bigger cars, get better at pranks, and make better excuses. At least, that’s what this man’s life looks like. Don’t you think?
2. Dirty Texting Takes A Whole New Meaning
MARRIED SEXTING: I’m not wearing any underwear…because you never put the laundry in the dryer like I asked you to 100 flipping times.
— Christie Johnson (@cjohnsonking5) September 19, 2015
Well, there’s nothing like a sweet, surprising, kinky and dirty text message from your spouse in the middle of the day, right? But this is probably what happens when you start dealing with life together and have to remind each other about doing the chores in an unconventional manner. Or maybe, that’s how intimate texting works after the holy union of marriage and living together for years.
3. The Never Ending Wait
99% of marriage is waiting in the car for your spouse.
— Sammy Rhodes (@sammyrhodes) January 30, 2016
Have you ever seen anyone complain about waiting for their partner when they’re dating? The men voluntarily wait, and the woman use the waiting time to perfect their makeup. But, when the game changes and when we talk about waiting among married couples, waiting feels like the worst punishment that we voluntarily signed up for, doesn’t it?
4. Ah, That Feeling Of Looking At The Love Of Your Life
That moment when u look at the love of your life n think: I’d really like to punch u in the face right now. #MarriedPeopleIssues #TrueStory
— Paymefornada (@cbbrankley) August 17, 2015
When you look at the love of your life, your soulmate, your life partner, you feel a lot of things — butterflies, oxytocin releasing in your bodies (love hormone), you see your future with them, etc. But, there’s another important feeling that you acquire when you get married. You feel like punching them in the face, but you don’t. Because you love them. Sigh, the struggle is real, after all!
5. Main, Meri Patni Aur Humaara Blanket
At least 10% of divorces can be avoided by buying bigger blankets
— X Alqee (@Xalqee) July 9, 2012
Whether you roll up in your blanket like a caterpillar or whether you build a tent for yourself to read your book in bed, your partner might be planning a revenge plan against you for not sharing the blanket with them fairly. And that is a big deal! Of course, we love our partner and we can do anything for them, but no, we cannot sacrifice our blanket!
6. When You Spend Time Together…And Wish You Hadn’t
We’re assembling a crib from Ikea… Which option on their toll free number gets you a marriage counselor?
— Mommy Honesty (@momesty) March 11, 2015
When you’re married, you have to do a lot of things together…like fixing your table, setting up your house, pacifying babies, etc. And since the unsaid rule of marriage is to always disagree with the partner, it would be nice of our toll free folks to connect us to a marriage counselor.
7. Tonight’s Gonna Be A Good Night
I’m at the level of marriage where “getting lucky tonight” just means we’re having tacos for dinner.
— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) July 27, 2015
If you’re thinking that a good romp in the sheets can make your night a good one, you are in for a surprise. A good night is when you’re getting a special dinner, which is loaded with some nachos, cheese, and lots of unhealthy stuff. Now, that’s more orgasmic than you know…?
8. Marriage Is About Others
Marriage is mostly about knowing which hand towels you can use and which ones are for the better people who visit your wife’s home.
— Troy Johnson (@_troyjohnson) May 28, 2015
Be it your porcelain dishes or the cabinet full of chinaware, it’s not meant for you. It’s for the guests. The broken, worn out and old stuff is for you to use. Well, those are the rules. Who made them? Trust us, if we knew, we wouldn’t let them live peacefully.
9. Oh, How Can One Refuse Such Requests?
keeping our marriage fresh/exciting via texts pic.twitter.com/XB3dktiSnA
— Jeff Lyons (@usedwigs) January 16, 2016
Now, isn’t that so romantic? No kidding, it’s a sign that your relationship has reached a level of comfort that’s unfathomable. You can talk about each other’s poop patterns, you can talk about your nasty vices, and you can even talk about exchanging pictures of the commode. Anything is possible when you’re married.
10. Opinions Do Matter…Maybe?
Relationship status: My wife asked me what I wanted for dinner and then told me I was wrong.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) February 22, 2016
We value your opinion and that’s why we ask for it. But, we don’t decide based on your opinion. We just don’t want you to feel like you don’t have a say, because you do. And that’s why we ask.. It’s just up to us to consider that opinion.
11. Your Partner Will Always Be There Beside You
When I awoke from the car accident in a full bodycast, my wife was right at my bedside to let me know that childbirth is still more painful.
— Kent Graham (@KentWGraham) May 24, 2015
Remember your vows? You promised to be there for each other in sickness and in health and to love and cherish till death does you apart. In those vows was one hidden vow that you didn’t notice. You partner vowed to remind you, every breathing second, that their pains are greater than yours. After all, it’s the labor pain we are talking about. And we agree, don’t we? (Go back to point number 11).
Marriage isn’t easy, but trust us, it’s a lifetime subscription of humor and drama. Who needs Netflix, right? Were you able to relate to any of these marriage truths? Tell us about the annoying things that you face in a marriage that are so silly yet so irksome.
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